My phone beeped; it was a message from Logan he wanted to hang out this Saturday. I grinned at the thought, Logan is my long-time crush, and we have been friends for a while although we had only hung out once and it was quite a moment.

Sure… What time?’ I texted back.

I watched my phone waiting for a reply, not wiping off that silly grin as I recalled the first time we had met, we had gone to the movies. However, it was our first-time meeting in person it hadn’t felt like it, it was just so natural, and nothing was forced, we had laughed half the film, and he made a couple of advances, but we didn’t make out. I think he was just too much of a gentleman even though he shamelessly ogled my ass and held my waist.

Any time that is fine by you.’ he responded.

‘12:00 pm is okay, I guess.’

‘you know you love to sleep in, make it 1:00 pm.’

‘okay’

I cannot wait to see him again.

So, I was not sure what to put on. I called my sister Tara to help with my dilemma.

“Where are you guys going?” she asked in a teasing voice.

“I am going to his house.” I responded, ignoring the tone in her voice prying for more.

“Mmmm, you and Logan, this is the second time you’re seeing him. You keep smiling on hearing his name.” she taunted, poking my waist. I smacked her hand and rolled my eyes. I did not want to have this conversation, especially not with Tara, she is a bit too much and rats me out a lot to my mother.

“I don’t know. We are just hanging out as friends.” I replied curtly, not wanting to encourage her any further, she picked up on my attitude and stopped with the teasing.

“You can put this shirt on with this skirt. It’s cute.” She cooed, holding up her choices.

She is an excellent stylist, so I didn’t argue with her decision.

I dressed up while she watched teasing and smiling slyly like she knows something I don’t know.

Logan sat beside me on his bed, lighting up his weed.

“Want a smoke?” he asked.

“No, I’m good.” I replied shyly.

“Oh yeah, you told me you don’t smoke, you pop pills instead.”

I laughed as I nodded my head.

“Want me to teach you?”

“Well, you can try, people have tried to teach me but have never succeeded. Also, I don’t think it has any effect on me.”

He showed me how to smoke correctly while I shamelessly failed. He got up to take a sit on the sofa across the bed, watching me and laughing like I was comic relief.

“What are you even doing?” he asked, laughing stretching his hand to collect the weed from me.

“But, I’m getting it.” I cried out, handing him the smoke.

“Do not bother since you can’t smoke.” He said, grinning while he puffed up a cloud of smoke, impressing me with shapes.

I teased him about being such a bad boy. We sat there talking about high school, friends, dreams, ambitions. He came to sit next to me on the bed and lightly touched my exposed thigh. He drew on the exposed skin with his finger. I thought he was going to kiss me. I braced myself for it instead, he pulled away and went on talking. I starred out of the window and spotted a teddy on the roof of the next building.

“Look at that. It reminds me of when I was young and would throw things on the roof, then cry for an adult go bring it down for me.”

“What are you talking about?” he asked, confused. My vision was a bit distorted like I was spinning but seeing clearly. I took his face in my hand and turned it towards the roof. I pointed and said, “that teddy.”

“Whoa! How did you see that?!” He asked excitedly.

“I just did.” I replied, not getting the big deal. He lay down while I cracked an inside joke we had about his food baby. I rubbed on his tummy, singing a lullaby. He started at my hand, laughing and turning to his side, asking me to stop.

He sat up, and we started talking again, I could not pick the words he was saying, but I understood everything, my speech was slurred.

“Am I high?” I asked him.

He looked up at me, staring into my eyes, he gave me a toothy grin as he replied, “You are high.”

“I am high.” I repeated, then as if realizing, I laughed and said again, “Oh my gosh! I am high.”

Both of us laughed.

I slumped on the bed staring at the ceiling. I have always been a good two shoes, I have never done anything outrageously wild, I’ve never had sex. I wanted all of that to change Logan and down next to me, resting his head on my tummy.

I loved the warmth I felt. I shut my eyes, enjoying the moment of finally being in a man’s bed.

“Why is your heart beating so fast?” he asked, pressing his ear against my tummy. I slightly opened my eyes as he raised his head to look at me. “Oh, she’s gone.” He whispered to himself, thinking I was asleep, he sat up and played with his fingers as if in thought then he picked his phone scrolling through his social media.

“Pull me up.” I said lightly as I raised my arms. He turned surprised. He held out an arm that I held on to you pull me up. I scooched closer to him and wrapped my arms around him, taking in his scent, it was probably the weed that gave me the confidence and made me not care that I was shamelessly sniffing this man, I hugged him a little tighter putting a leg on his, he rested his hands on my leg, looking anywhere else but at me, I cupped his face with my hand so I could look in his enchanting eyes.

He stared back at me, and I smiled, he smiled and looked away, I turned his face towards me again staring at his lips, I leaned in, and he reciprocated, our lips touched. I felt chills run down my spine, I shut my eyes and enjoyed the moment, our lips moving in sync, I moaned into the kiss as he stroked my inner thigh pushing my underwear to the side inserting his slender finger vagina, he slowly thrust in and out while rubbing my clit with his thumb, I pushed my hips forward wanting more friction, wanting more fingers in me as he kissed my neck. Logan broke the kiss, staring in my eyes as he pulled off my shirt, he pressed my breasts and let out a throaty moan as if in pain. He drew me closer, biting my boobs through the bra. He grinned as he shook them with his big hands,

“You are so sexy.” He whispered, biting my earlobe. He got off the bed to pull off his pants. I watched him whip his cock out.

“Come on.” He said, holding his cock in my direction.

I crawled to the edge of the bed biting my lips. I stared at his average-sized juicy looking cock, I wanted it in my mouth, but I wasn’t sure if I still remembered how to, I wrapped my hand around it and looked up at him, he stared at me like I was starving him.

‘He looks so cute while hot and bothered. I should tease.’ I thought to myself.

I smiled at him, but before he could react I gave my attention to his hard cock, licking around the cap, I put the cap in my mouth, licked his pre-cum then released it with a pop.

“Fuck!” He exclaimed, grabbing my hair with both his hands.

I opened my mouth as he shoved his cock into my mouth, I gagged on it as I bopped my head to his thrusts, I helped him by pushing him forward, my hands on his ass, he pulled his cock out of my mouth replacing it with his lips as we laid on the bed. I knew what was to come, I wanted it, but I was scared, but I had to do it, or I’d die a virgin from fear of penetration, I felt a sharp pain as he tried to insert his cock in me which broke me out of my though.

I let out a yell, sitting up as if I had just woken up from a bad dream, he got off me in a rush, fear written all over his face as he asked “what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

“No. It’s painful.” I muttered, staring at him.

I made my way to the edge of the bed once again and wrapped my arms around him. I kissed him passionately, and he responded with as much heat as I lured him back into the bed.

“Do it slowly.” I whispered as I shut my eyes waiting for it.

His soft lips placed chaste kisses on my skin, his tongue and lips worked in unison on my neck, I moaned, giving him room to explore my neck.

“Relax.” He whispered with a kiss just as I felt his cock pushing into me gently. I bit my lip trying not to scream again although it wasn’t as painful as the first time he had tried, I could feel him inside me, he just lay there on top of me not moving.

“Are you okay ?” He asked, stroking my hair.

I nodded my eyes a bit teary.

“Slow.” This was all I could mutter.

He hugged me, my face in the crook of his neck as he began to move his hips, each stroke was slow with love and care, my eyes squeezed shut as I tried to get used to the pain I was feeling.

The pain subsided, and I started to feel this kind of high with every stroke he made, I let out a gasp.

I had no idea that sex would feel so good.

“Faster.” I said, not sure how else to tell him to speed up. He released me from the hug holding my hands down on the bed. His strokes became prominent. I could feel every hit. I could feel him stretch my inside.

“Ooo, more… I want more.” I moaned as I stared into his eyes.

I seemed to have fed the devil. He pulled out.

“Turn and get on your knees.” He commanded.

It was such a turn on seeing him go from sheepish to macho, I got on my knees and threw my ass back as he immersed himself in me yet again, I cringed at the pain, a tear slipped as he began to thrust in and out of my pussy. My breasts fell out of my bra bouncing along with every thrust smacking my chest, I reached to them, pinching my nipples as I started to fuck Logan back, he slapped my ass grunting, “stop moving.”

My moans and gasps filled the room. Logan’s hands were fondling my breasts with passion as he gave me back shots.

“Oh yeah… fuck me, hard baby !” I cried, gripping the bedsheet.

He slapped my ass grunting with each thrust, his palms sweaty, he raised me off the bed, my back arched, one hand-wound around my neck with his thumb in my mouth, his other hand applying pressure on my tummy, his slow strokes hit me with intent.

His raspy breathing clouded the room, the sound of my moans gave music to the room.

“So tight. Fucking tight.” He grunted, pushing his fingers into my mouth. I sucked on them moaning as I twirled my tongue around them, I grazed my teeth on his fingertips, stuck my tongue out so his fingers would lay on it before I engulfed them in my warm mouth. He moaned, pulling out his fingers, he pulled out of me, shooting his cum in his palm.

He collapsed on the bed while I sat up, putting on my clothes unsure of what to do or what happens next, I wasn’t sure if I had just made a mistake or if it was meant to be, I was lost in thought I didn’t realize he watched me.

“Are you okay ?”

“What’s wrong ?” He asked these questions, his voice laced with concern.

“Nothing.” I said, breaking out of thought. I didn’t realize I was pacing until he grabbed my arm and pulled me unto his laps.

“Talk to me.” He whispered, staring into my eyes, his arms around me.

I smiled and shook my head. He leaned closer and kissed me, I shut my eyes and kissed back, he groped my ass, pulling up my skirt, he moaned into the kiss then pulled away.

“Ride me.” He said.

I had to think fast, I didn’t know how I was supposed to ride him, and it would have been stupid to ask how to ride. I knew what he meant obviously, but I didn’t know how to, my instincts have never really been wrong. I pulled my panties to the side and tried to insert his cock in me, but it was too painful, I winced and shook my head.

“Hey… Hey !” He cooed as he gently put it in for me, I bit my lip not taking my eyes off him.

I sat there to get accustomed to his cock before I slowly began to grind my hips, his hands guiding me. He shut his eyes, his bottom lip between his teeth. I played with my breasts, close my eyes, and let myself into the moment, my tongue resting on my upper lip as I drew raggedy breaths. I bent forward, grinding my hips slowly.

“Kiss me.” I said, taking his hand up to my breast, he squeezed it, taking my lips between his, we kissed slowly, our bodies in sync, he buttered kisses on my jaw, his fingers drawing lightly on my skin, he kissed my chin before burying his head in the crook of my neck, kissing and nibbling on the skin, pinching my nipple, groping my ass.

I moaned loudly, gasping for breath as he began to suck on my breast, I rubbed his head,  stroked his ear, and pinched his earlobe.

“Hmm, more.” I moaned, wanting more friction.

“Get up.” He said, his voice husky.

It’s been a week since I last saw Logan, we talk over the phone all the time, but we live far from each other so we could not see ourselves as often as we wish to.

Finally, I was going to visit him. I groomed myself, eager to collect his dick. I had loved that feeling more than I can explain even though I had been scared as hell at first.

“How have you been ?” He asked, settling next to me in his bed.

“Good, You ?”  I responded.

“I am okay, I have been trying to make some cool cash, got a lot of things on my mind.” He said to me.

“You like money.” I said, laughing. Logan is always thinking of a new way to make money legally. I admire that about him, his passion, his aim is to retire early.

I moaned as Logan fondled with my breast, his head resting on my tummy, I scratched behind his ear as he liked, he leaned closer, I giggled, he was a big baby, I found it cute.

I shut my eyes as his wet lips enveloped my nipples, letting out the breath I didn’t know I was holding in I took off my bra so he could have more access. Logan quickly gets into the mood. It was no surprise he wanted to hop into sex immediately. I laughed, refusing to turn around. We started play fighting, he sat on my back, a hand behind my back, I gave up groaning as he put the cuffs I had brought along on me.

He pulled me up, kissed my lips, his fingers stroking my skin softly.

“That is all you get.” He whispered, pulling away, leaving me yearning for more.

“Don’t do that.” I said desperately for more.

He rested his back against the wall staring at me, I bit my lip, pleading with my eyes.

“What do you want ?” He whispered.

“I want you.” I said.

He grinned, I shut my eyes as he came closer, he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck, he sucked and bit the thin skin, his finger penetrated my wet pussy, I let out a gasp, he sucked my breasts, he curved his finger in my pussy, tapped on the wall, my body responded to the movement, I could I take it, the whole thing was too much for me, “fuck me, please fuck me.” I begged.

He pulled away, lifted my chin so I could look into his eyes, they were filled with lust, he pulled my panties, rubbing it against my pussy, he watched my face, watched me break.

“Take the cuffs off.” I cried.

“Why?” he asked me, placing a kiss on my cheek.

“You are not giving me what I want,” I said, exasperated.

He pushed me on the bed, spun me around, he pushed my pant to the side, rammed his dick into me, I squeaked, he thrust in and out of my pussy, clapping my ass, his hand pressed my face into the bed, his other hand gripped my waist.

“Oh, fuck ! Ahh baby, yes, baby.” I moaned, gripping the sheet.

“Fuck!”  he moaned, his dick twitching in me as my pussy wall clenched it tightly, he smacked my ass.

I arched my back, throwing my head back.

He shoved my head back onto the bed, slapping my ass.

“Stay down.” He grunted.

I shut my eyes as he hit the right places, I was in a blissful space, my lustful cries pleading for more, his moans and raspy breathing, the slapping of our naked bodies, he hands on my waist, my clapping ass cheeks, my hard nipples, I could feel everything, I could hear everything, I could almost see everything with my eyes shut, everything was heightened.

I squirted on his cock as he cummed in me.

“Dirty girl.” He whispered.

“hmmm.” I moaned, biting my lip as he undid my cuffs.

I threw my arms around him, embracing him with a kiss, the tip of his tongue teased my lips, I slid mine out to meet his, he parted hi slips open as our tongue danced in sync.

“My goodness…Bella.” He moaned, resting his forehead on mine.

I hummed then kissed his nose, my legs and arms wrapped around him, hugging him like a koala does a tree.

His hands cupped my buttocks, his tongue licking me playfully.

“Eat me out.” I said, then pushed his head down, he smirked as he slid down, parting my thighs to my creamy pussy,  he licked me up, sucked on my clit, before penetrating me with his tongue, he twirled his tongue inside me, rubbing my clit with his thumb. I arched my back and played with my nipples.

“Ahhh, yes, baby.” I moaned.

My juice drawled as he raised his head, he slurped my juices up then licked his lips, not taking his eyes off me, I shook as he went back to devouring my pussy, I pinched my nipples letting out low cries. He lay on top of me and kissed me letting me taste myself as he slid his dick in me, the strokes were slow and meaningful, my eyes closed, I felt his hand wrap around my throat, my arms snaked around his neck, my legs wrapped around his waist as he fucked me.

“Faster” I said, he just stared at me, giving me slow strokes as if teasing me.

“Faster.” I said louder, thinking he didn’t hear me the first time. Still, he didn’t comply.

I slapped him, “fucking go faster !” I cried as he moaned, he loved it, I hit him again across the face, he looked so turned on, he didn’t take his eyes off me, I hit him again, then pushed his head.

His thrusts picked pace, I flipped us over and started to ride him, pinching his nipples as he squeezed my breasts.

Our moans in sync as we hit a high, my body started to quiver, “fucking spank me !” I whispered.

As if he had been waiting for the go-ahead, he slapped my ass twice, grunting, I rode him faster, my hands in my hair’s, my waist grinding on him. I was in a happy place, just there, feeling him inside me. My legs vibrated, my hands squeezed my breasts, his hands squeezed my ass, I cummed on his cock inside me, he had me bend over and began to ram his cock in me while pulling on my hair.

“Oh, fuck me! Yes, fuck me, baby.” I cried.

He slapped my ass, going faster.

“I’m going to cu… ahhh.” He moaned as he cummed on my ass, he slapped his cock on my ass, trying to get it all out.

“Looks yummy.” I cooed, swiping my finger on the jizz. I licked it with my eyes closed.

“So fucking sexy.” He said his voice laced with lust, he pulled me up in a chokehold, licked my lips before kissing me warmly.

“I’m a good girl.” I whispered as I spanked his buttocks.

So I found out Logan was seeing someone, he did not want me to know about her, and he denied her when I asked him about it, I was hurt because I had trusted him and he showed me how bad men really get.

I didn’t want Tara involved in my business because my Mama would hear about it, so I called on my close friend Justina. I told her all about the guy. What had transpired between us, she was confused because it did sound like he genuinely likes me, but we were both unsure because men can be funny, and he could just be playing mind games to have me in his grasp. He was so possessive and jealous, he tried not to show it, but it slipped.

“This guy I liked used to do it, he seemed like he was so in love with me. Gave me all of that attention, called me his girlfriend. I thought we were a couple and he was in love with me until one day we were talking, and I made a statement calling myself his girlfriend. He asked me when we started dating. He was like he is not ready for a relationship and all of that.” She told me bitterly.

I held back my tears, not wanting to accept that Logan had played me.

“Should I talk to him again ?” I asked.

I was deep in denial, I know I was, but I did not want Justina to see me like that, everyone knows me to be the strong lady.

“Are you in love with him ?” She asked.

“I have not cried yet, so I guess I’m not.” I lied through my teeth, yes I hadn’t cried, but I was hurt because I knew that I loved him.

“Just stop talking to him so you would not get attached, he is your first.” She told me.

“Man, fuck it! It does not mean shit to me.” I retorted, laughing.

I’m a master at hiding my emotions when I am in pain. I bet she knew, but she didn’t say anything, which I appreciated.

I wanted to get over Logan so severely. I figured if I got hooked because of sex, maybe sex would break the yoke. There’s this guy, his name is Fred, he has been into me since forever, so I hit him up to hang out. He booked a hotel for us to lodge. I did not think it through at that point. I just went with the flow, let the breeze carry me.

Fred kissed me passionately while I reciprocated the action because I am one hell of an actress, I didn’t give a damn about him, I bet he knows that. He was just so happy to be with me at that moment I guess he didn’t care, he kissed my body lightly as if worshipping it, he kissed my between my thighs, I shut my eyes trying to focus on him, my mind kept wandering to Logan. I didn’t like that it did, I felt his wet lips on my pussy, he began to smooch it, licking, sucking and slurping the pussy lips. I let out a moan, that felt good, he worked my pussy with his slim fingers, thrusting him and out.

I couldn’t help but think of the downsides about his, though, like his skin was too soft, he was too skinny. His cock was big, though. He could not get it in. He had to make me really wet so he could slip in easily, he slowly pushed his cock in waiting for me to adjust to his size, he began to thrust in and out of me, he lifted my legs, wrapped them around his neck as he fucked me, it was like he was digging deep to find a treasure, I could feel him in my stomach, I gasped, my lips apart as I felt every inch of his cock.

“Who owns this pussy?” He asked.

‘Okay, calm down, cowboy.’ I thought to myself.

He spanked my ass and asked again, “Who owns this pussy?”  “You! You do! Fuck!” I responded.

“Turn, I want to give you back shots.” He said calmly.

That is another thing. I don’t like this calmness. I love the show of masculinity. I want to hear the command, the power in a man’s voice.

He fucked me so hard. My pussy was sore. He fucked me like he wanted to prove something like he wanted me to come back for more, he ate my pussy out, moaning at the cream, told me he loved how I tasted. All of this, but I still had Logan on my mind.

Speaking of the devil, his text came in, he wanted to know why I was mad at him.

‘This dude is still in denial, or maybe he is not, maybe he is not dating her anymore, and she is truly just his ex like he claimed.’ I made excuses for him in my head.

He did post pics of them together, unaware that I could see them.

He did block me so I could stop seeing them.

I did not respond to his texts. I watched my phone screen light up continuously.

I stared at Logan as he gushed over the chocolates I brought him. I eventually texted him back, his stories made no sense to me, but I guess I was attached after all. I felt lucky to be on my period. I do not know why I agreed to meet up with him, but here I was, watching him smile, watching him talk about the things he loved. He started talking about conspiracy theories, astrology, fantasy, something I was very interested in, he spoke about them effortlessly, reminding me why I had fallen so deeply for him.

He was smart, and he talked about things I can relate to, and if I cannot, he teaches me, tells me more about it. I find myself so drawn to his energy. It is like looking in the mirror, only looking at someone more dangerous and sneaky. He actually thinks I bought his lies. He smoked his blunt while I tapped away on my phone, listening to music while he sang along. I laid opposite him on the bed so I could see him. He hit my leg, wanting to know why I was quiet.

“Nothing, I am just tired.” I said.

“You know… your mum was right to be protective of you.” He said out of the blue, pulling out one of our earliest conversations.

“What do you mean?” I asked, confused at what had brought that up.

“You’re getting wild.” He said.

I laughed and stared at my phone.

“I do not find that funny. I like you to be good. I preferred it when you were good. You’re getting so wild. I guess it’s because your mum is not home.”

“I thought you said I was a pussy when I was good.” I retorted, rolling my eyes at him.

“Well, now I do not like it.” He said.

I ignored him and sang along to the song while he smacked my leg, trying to get my attention.

“Bella.” He called, shaking my leg.

“Yes?”

“I am sorry, I did not mean to make you feel bad.”

“Okay.”

I went back to singing along to the music playing. My mind was in another place though I was trying to figure out why I was so hung upon him. I decided it had to do with the brains and his eyes. We did not have sex, yet here I was feeling all mushy, grinning from ear to ear because I loved our conversation.

Logan rested on my tummy, obviously trying to get on my good side. “I really like the chocolate you bought me though.

Thank you Mama.” He said, holding my hand.

“It is no problem.”

I thought about bringing up the conversation about the other woman, but I was shy and also scared of the response. I had even sworn to myself that I would weep over no man anymore since the first guy I had fallen in love with while I was in school.

Instead of bringing up the conversation, I decided to talk about wanting a boyfriend just to make him aware that he doesn’t have me in his grasp like he probably thinks he does and that worked like magic, I watched him squirm. He did not want to have this conversation.

I went on making him uncomfortable, I talked about every other guy but him and things I admire about them, I even went as far as saying, “I would pay money to fuck him.” I did not mean any of those things, obviously, but I wanted to see him hurt physically.

I laughed and pecked his lips but it didn't change his feelings.

His jealousy couldn’t be hidden.